I have difficulty understanding simple things. Probably why ‘Yes, and…’ causes so much consternation when I try to decipher it’s meaning.

I try not to be paranoid, but I do wonder how many inside jokes there are nested in the blog of a riddler.

This reminds me of a game (now to the good stuff) I used to play with my ex-roomate Andy, uh, seven or so years ago. We would take a simple phrase and try to expand it as far as possible - what I now see as a game useful for strengthening eloquence.

Example : I have to return some videotapes (something said often due to our American Psycho fandom) becomes ~ As of now I have reached a state of full preparedness for the act of locomating on a direct route from my current location, that being…

and so on.

Yeah.

Ugg. Me Primal/Ren/Man too..
Win fight. Tell story. Make song. Drink stink fruit juice. Dance with princess.
Boogum.

& as soon as I sit down in front of the computer, every thought escapes me and the entire morning seems like an excersize in vapidity.

The image fascinates. It presents a decent model for integration / actualization, or whatever you want to call it.

I think the outer area represents the suffering of the realm of ego-centric living… the inability to accept life as loss - indeed, as soon as something is gained the event of gaining trickles off into the inaccessible past, thus becoming a loss.

In my mind I see the outlying suffering created by the inception of the ego, the seperation from the natural state (and the accompanying nobility), as more of a spiral. The further one goes out, the more lengthy the road back. To take this another step, I see the states of sorrow and joy and imbetweens as varying in intensity along the spiral, and yet another, I picture the spiral as a three dimensional Escher-like labyrinth in which the lost soul will often wonder where the hell they are, how they got there and where they’re going.

I could keep going. I doubt you want to read it. The way out? Stepping into yourself, a mirror portal, the reflection becoming uglier looking as the decay brought on by this grueling whirlwind of emotional turbulence builds up.